The Shit Song

	  		
G                                                 D 
When I run into friends of mine I haven't seen in years, 
D                                                       G 
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears. 
G                                                           C 
Then they pronounce me 'looking great', I haven't changed a bit, 
                   G               D    C Bm7  D    G 
I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I know I look like sh*t. 

G                                                          D 
'Cos I saw myself this morning, phew, and I know of what I speak. 
D                                     G 
I'm a human being, but I look like I reek. 
G                                                        C 
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it, 
                         G              D    C   Bm7  D    G 
'Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like sh*t. 

C                              G 
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies, 
  A7                                 D      C         D 
I guess that I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses. 
G                                         D 
The guy that's me, who's in my dreams, is twenty-five or six, 
D                                                    G 
I'm old enough to be his dad, how's that for parlour tricks? 
G                                                    C 
Life's a job you're fired from, unless of course you quit, 
              Bm7     G         D              C  Bm7   D    G 
Gee, I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like sh*t? 
               D                       Em G 
Let's ask him! 'scuse me? No, over here! 

G                               D 
Although I know it's natural, I still can't understand. 
                                                       G 
Once I looked like a million bucks, now, more like two grand. 
G                                                    C 
We start out with a lot of time, but what happens to it? 
                     G                    C   Bm7  D    G 
Times flies when you f**k around and then you look like sh*t! 
G                                            C 
Oh, ain't it the truth, brothers and sisters? 

C                              G 
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies, 
 A7                                  D                         D6 
'Sh*t's a gift we make', Freud said, here, take mine won't you please?' 

G                              D7              D 
Growing old ain't easy, it's a process so they say. 
                                             G 
We proceed to our grand finale, every single day. 
                                               C 
But dying doesn't worry me, I'm not bothered a bit, 
                      G          D           C   Bm7 D    G 
I just don't like the thought of lying there looking like sh*t!