Written by John Prine
A D A
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long,
A B E
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong,
A D A
My friends, they all tell me they're no friends at all.
A E A
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call?
D--E A D E A
Signed, "Bewildered"
Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain’t,
So listen up, buster, listen up good.
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, “Dear Abby.ā€¯
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks,
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks.
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed.
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead.
Signed, "Unhappy"
Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain’t,
So listen up, buster, listen up good.
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, “Dear Abby.ā€¯
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head,
But my stomache tells me to write you instead.
Signed, "Noisemaker".
Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain’t,
So listen up, buster, listen up good.
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, “Dear Abby.ā€¯
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught.
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees.
Signed, "Just Married"
Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain’t,
So listen up, buster, listen up good.
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, “Dear Abby.ā€¯
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