Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah

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Well it sure didn't take too long 
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I woke up one morning, she was gone 
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And the note that she wrote didn't say "Dear John" 
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It said, "Goodbye, sucker, I'm gone!" 

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She was a home-grown mountain girl 
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Raised in a different world 
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I was a wanna-be rocker, she was more into Merle 
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I just couldn't see it wouldn't work 
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And now I'm double fisting longnecks 
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and grapefruit and Stoli 
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But I'm never getting over Jolie 
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Well, I pulled myself in my car 
And I drove on down to the bar 
But they wouldn't let me in, because I ain't a movie star 
So I went to the Horseshoe on Lamar 

The bouncer threw me out at two 
And I didn't know what to do 
So I picked up the phone and I called guess who 
But the call block wouldn't let me through 
And now I'm wishing for some drugs Or a shrink to 
Console me but I'm never getting over Jolie 

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Well I gathered up all of my guns 
And a pipe bomb just for fun 
And I drove to her house and parked on the lawn 
She always thought I was a crazy one 

Well her boyfriend was sure nice to me 
He said, Calm down, would you like a drink? 
And then I shot him full of holes from his nose to his knees 
And I polished off my little sweet pea 
And now I'm cryin' on my knees, feelin' dirty and unholy 
But I'm never getting over Jolie 
         
Yeah I'll prob'ly get life and serve at least forty 
But I'm never getting over Jolie 

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