Part 1 Dm F G Dm The pilot had a heart attack. The co-pilot can't be found. Dm F G Dm The people in the aisles are screamin'. They know the plane is goin' down. Dm F We need a hero, someone to save us. G F We need a hero to land the plane. Dm F We need a hero, who's gonna do it. Dm F Dm We need a hero to save the day. yeah! Dm F G Dm So I jump to my feet, and I volunteer. The people on the plane all start to cheer. Dm F G Dm I get a high five from a baby, and a hickey from a flight attendant. Dm F G Dm So I go into the cockpit put the headset on, and grab the main controls. Dm F G F Dm Then I right away I crash the plane because I don't know what I'm doin'. Part 2 Dm F G Dm We're on a runaway train. The conductor had a meltdown. Dm F G Dm The people in the dining car are screaming really really loud. Dm F We need a hero, someone to save us. G F We need a hero to bring us through the danger. Dm F We need a hero, somebody competent. Dm F Dm We need a hero to save the day. Yeah! Dm F G Dm So I put the engineer's hat on the top of my head. The people go f***in' crazy. Dm F G Dm A guy says, "You're the man, man", and a deaf woman signs, "Go get em'". Dm F G Dm So I go to the cab and I toot the whistle. That's something that I alway wanted to do. Dm F G F Dm Then right away we fly off the bridge, because I don't know what I'm doin' Part 3 Dm F G Dm We're in a nice family restaurant. Somebody's Grandma is choking on a lamb chop. Dm F G Dm There's panic in the air as Nana's face turns blue. The busboy screams in spanish, "What the F*** do we do?!" Dm F We need a hero, who's gonna do it. G F We need a hero to clear out her windpipe. Dm F We need a hero, who's down with Heimlich? Dm F Dm We need a hero to save the day. Yeah! Dm F G Dm So I slap my napkin down on the table, and I get a f***in' standin' ovation. Dm F G Dm Another guy gets up and says he's a doctor. I say, "Sit the f*** down, I got this s***. Dm F G Dm Then I wrap my arms around Grandma's chest, and look her grandkids deep in the eyes. Dm F G F Dm Then right away I break all her ribs, because I don't know what I'm doin'