Written by Richard Thompson
verse 1 Em D Em Fergus Laing is a beast of a man G A Em He stitches up and fleeces D Em He wants to manicure the world G A Em And sell it off in pieces G He likes to build his towers high A He blocks the sun out of the sky Bm A In the penthouse the champagne's dry Em And slightly gassy verse 2 Em D Em Fergus Laing, he works so hard G A Em As busy as a bee is D Em Fergus Laing has seventeen friends G A Em All as dull as he is G His seventeen friends have seventeen wives A All the perfect shape and size Bm A They wag their tails and bat their eyes Em Just like Lassieverse 3 Em D Em Fergus Laing and his seventeen friends G A Em They live inside a bubble D Em There they withdraw and shut the door G A Em At any sign of trouble G Should the peasants wail and vent A And ask him where the money went Bm A He'll simply say, it's all been spent Em On being classy verse 4 Em D Em Fergus' buildings reach the sky G A Em Until you cannot see 'em D Em He thinks the old stuff he pulls down G A Em Belongs in a museum G His own fair home is on the Park A an airy jewel, a city ark Bm A Hung with Picasso, hung with Braque Em but nothing brassyA Fergus Laing he builds and builds Em Yet small is his erection A Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair Em D When the wind's in the right direction C B7 the wind's in the right directionAlternate verse 4 G His fits are famous on the scene A The shortest fuse, so cruel, so mean Bm A But don't call him a drama queen Em Like Shirley BasseyA Fergus Laing he builds and builds Em Yet small is his erection A Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair Em D When the wind's in the right direction C B7 Em the wind's in the right directionEm D Em Fergus Laing he flaunts the law G A Em But one day he'll be wired D Em And as they drag him off to jail G A Em We'll all shout, "You're fired!"