He Never Came Back

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    An old Jane about 49 came in to view the town, 
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    she registered up at Smith's Hotel as Miss Ada Brown. 
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    She said she was just 25 and that she was in love 
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    with a young lad about 16, she called him her turtledove. 
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    The wedding day at last arrived, the birds did merrily sing, 
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    he touched her up for a hundred to go out and buy the ring. 
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    He never came back, no, he never came back 
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    he's been gone for a year or more. 
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    That sassy young thing better have that ring, 
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    when we meet on that beautiful shore. 

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    I went down to a restaurant as hungry as a bear, 
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    and like a raving thief I did, I grabbed the bill of fare. 
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    The waiter said, Now what for you?”  “A piece of steak !” I said, 
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    he’d taken my order and bowed his head and slowly walked away. 
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    No, he never came back, no, he never came back, 
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    I waited an hour or more. 
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    His neck I will break, if he has not that steak 
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    when we meet on that beautiful shore