The Good Book

	  		
Bb                                   F 
Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships 
C                                    A            Dm    Dm/C 
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift 
      Bb                           F 
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift 
C7                                    C 
And like most gifts you get, it was a book 

  F                              Bb 
I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know 
  C7                                                F 
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so 
     F               F7/Eb            Bb/D             Bbm/D 
If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go 
         C7                            F 
'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book 
  F                                     Bb 
I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good 
            C7                                  F 
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would 
              F              F7            Bb               Bbm 
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood 
              C7                                 F 
You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book 
And it is good for cookin' 

Dm                                      A 
I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that 
    Bb                                 F              C 
The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts 
  A                                    Dm 
I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that 
    G                                 C 
And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good 
   Dm                         A 
Morality is written there in simple white and black 
       Bb                              F               C 
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that 
 A                               Dm 
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap 
       Bb                              F 
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good 

And it's a book, and it's a book 
  Dm                             A 
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter 
    Bb                              F              C 
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh 
    A                              Dm 
But as they grew they started misbehavin' 
       G                               C 
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath 
           A                                Dm 
When the creatures in your care start being menaces 
    G                                   C 
The answers can be found right there in Genesis! 
C7 
Genesis, Chapter 6, Verse 5-7! 

G 
Swing your partner by the hand 
C 
Have a baby if you can 
D 
But if the voices your head 
Say to sacrifice your kid 
G 
To satiate your loving God's 
C 
Fetish for dead baby blood 
D 
It's simple faith, the Book demands 
So raise that knife up in your hand! 

  F                                          Bb 
Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know 
     C                                   F 
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go 
   F              F7             Bb         Bbm 
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go 
    C7                                             F 
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received 

    Bb                               F              C 
The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse." 
    Bb                                 F                  C 
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses." 
    A                                Dm 
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force 
       G                                  C 
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book 
          D 
And it is good, and it's a book!" 


  G 
Swing your daughter by the hand 
    C 
But if she gets raped by a man 
     D 
And refuses then to marry him 
Stone her to death! 

   Em                                      B 
If you just close your eyes and block your ears 
         C                          G                 D 
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years 
     B                                   Em 
Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook 
          A                                D 
And thank Christ you only have to read one book 



Dm 
Just because the book's contents 
     A 
Were written generations hence 
Dm 
By hairy desert-dwelling gents 
A 
Squatting in their dusty tents 
Em 
Just because what Heaven said 
B 
Was said before they'd leavened bread 
Em 
Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read 
B 
Doesn't mean that we should need 
C 
When manipulating human genes 
G 
To alleviate pain and fight disease 
C 
When deciding whether it's wrong or right 
G 
To help the dyin' let go of life 
D 
Or stop a pregnancy when it's 
Just a tiny blastocyst 

B                                      Em 
There's no reason why we should take a look 
D            C 
At any other book 
G/B 
But the Good Book 
A 
'Cause it's good 
And it's a book 
D 
And it's a book 
And it's quite good! 

G                G7/F 
Good is good and evil's bad 
C/E                      Cm/E 
And kids get killed when God gets mad 
D                       G         D G 
And you'd better take a good look